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Featured History of Multiple Sex Partners - Is it a turnoff?

Discussion in 'Sex & Sexual Health' started by Medic, Jan 19, 2016.

  1. Medic

    Medic Administrator

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    If the man or woman has a history of multiple sexual partners, does it turn you off? or maybe turn you on. Surely, personality and chemistry is most important to most, but would the person score some nagative points on account of his or her past history of sex with multiple lovers?

    Personally, it would score some negative points on the overall chart for me. Not defining, but it would be a negative. Would be something I am not "completely ok" with. But when you love someone one can maybe look past it.
     
  2. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    If the girl has been with a lot of guys previously, and you are consciously or subconsciously thinking about that, it's tantamount to eating after a dozen strangers at an all-you-can-eat buffet without knowing what they have done to the food before they got there. Sounds appetizing, right? Not so much? It's the same way sexually for many people. If the girl has been around and is no different than a public utility or outdoor relief station, you're probably not going to find sexual attraction in that. I wouldn't. There are some people who can block it out, but I commend them for that if they can, because it takes a lot to do that and still reach climax.

    The cleaner and more wholesome the woman, the easier it always was for me to enjoy her, to please myself, and to please her mutually while doing so. No pun intended, but come to think of it, the only time that I've ever not reached orgasm is when there was something wrong like that with the woman that prevented me from reaching the physical paramount that I needed to be on climax mountain.

    I would still go to a sex counselor and see what's up, though. Just to be on the safe side. They can definitely help you and pinpoint exactly what it is, and then help you take the steps necessary to correct it.
     
  3. sunshiney

    sunshiney Junior Researcher

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    So a woman shouldn't have a sex life before you come along? That's a very egocentric take on the subject. You may think that a woman who has a sexual history is undesirable, but with an ignorant, misogynistic attitude like that, I can guarantee that you aren't any sort of prize yourself. If any of the women I know heard a man talk like that they wouldn't give him the time of day.

    Seriously? A woman who has sex is no better than a public toilet? That's really what you believe? That's disgusting and dehumanizing. Oh, but if she's having sex with you that's okay then, right? Because clearly you have a sexual history. So you'll have sex with a woman, and then...judge her for having sex? Is that how it works in your brain?
     
  4. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    Not if she's going to want to be with me, no. If she can't count the number of people she's been with intimately on one hand, then she doesn't have a future sex life or a relationship with me and should seek out someone that she belongs with instead.

    I consider your attitude and dismissal of morals and values in women while belittling men to be nothing more than pathetic, petty, misandrist, feminist, anti-male rhetoric and insulting attacks upon me. Slander, much? I also see your response to me as an emblem of your ignorance and shallowness among other things, You are a far cry from your nickname of "sunshiney". Maybe you should consider changing it to "man hater" or "carpetdepot" instead since you hate men so much?

    A woman who makes herself a public utility devalues herself and her possibility of being with me or ANY decent man who she would want to be with. That's disgusting and dehumanizing of her to do that to herself almost as much as it is for her to do that to her future partner she would likely lie to about her past as women like you often do. And you know what? If her having sex with me would preclude her from being with whom she's meant to spend the rest of her life with and she's a woman with a conscience which is really rare, then I would tell her no for her sake and who she's meant to be with, not mine.

    You have no clue as to what I believe, or the wisdom that I have which is clearly beyond your comprehension on this. I never said I would have sex with a woman and judge her for it, only for where she has been before she has made it to my door. Your lack of coherence and attention to detail is confusing you and making you draw assumptions that are not even logically available in the original post. Your misunderstanding and utter disregard for men leads you to fantasy conclusions that are not even rational.

    I don't believe you have the capability to understand morality, chivalry, or how things work in my brain, so at this point you should not even bother to try, because I try not to be disrespectful to the less fortunate intellectually or otherwise.

    You have no idea whatsoever what kind of prize I am to women, or how much many of them do love me and want to be with me. It's women like you that I routinely say no to, and am very happy that I do! You don't deserve the time of day beyond anything but a post, and that is clearly evident from your response to me. Good luck being a bottom-feeder. You had better get used to it since you have no morals to speak of, and no respect for men like me who do!

    Good luck with condoning unhealthy lifestyles, promiscuity, damaging relationships, and emptiness in the lives of others. I can't stomach it, nor can I stomach feminist filth or anyone like you that would condone such things and have the audacity to attack me or anyone else for speaking our peace on it.
     
  5. TwoOneBee

    TwoOneBee Junior Researcher

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    goodhealthgoodhealth dude, you compared a woman who's had more than 5 sexual partners to a public toilet! That's an incredibly poor choice of words and frankly it is insulting. You keep mentioning how a women must please you and make you orgasm... maybe it's not what you meant, or you didn't explain it correctly, but I don't think you can blame sunshineysunshiney for making the assumptions she did, since to be honest I made the same ones about you. I think your last response to sunshineysunshiney is seriously out of line, and frankly pretty insulting overall, regardless of how angry you are at being called out. She based her response on information that you provided, while you made a lot of (very false and very, very wrong) assumptions about her. You also spoke in very general terms when in fact you're talking about your own opinion.

    Whether you agree with someone having "many" sexual partners or not is one thing (more than 5 sexual partners is NOT considered many at all, and you'll find that many women on this very board have had more than 5 partners by their own admission and you've now compared them all to a public toilet), and it seems like you have some real self-confidence issues if when you have sex with a woman, all you can do is compare yourself to previous partners and get soft.

    So what, does every women you sleep with have to be a virgin? You don't see how that's being ignorant and misogynistic?
     
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  6. sunshiney

    sunshiney Junior Researcher

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    Wow dude, fly off the handle much? You must be pretty sensitive about this subject because you had about one line of content in that post surrounded by several paragraphs of nearly incomprehensible rage...I must have touched a nerve :ROFLMAO:

    Everyone has their preferences. If you only want to sleep with virgins, great, good for you. That's what you find desirable. But it's incredibly disrespectful and ignorant to assume that every woman who falls outside of what you desire is comparable to a public bathroom.

    Really? So my close friend A is a public bathroom...not a loving mother, a committed wife,a devoted daughter and granddaughter. No, she's slept with more than five people, so she's nothing but a dirty public bathroom. I don't really understand how you don't see how insulting that it. And you're accusing me of being belittling?

    Your morals are one thing, your ethics, your beliefs; that's your business. But the rest of the world isn't going to live by your rules, so the sooner you learn not to throw a tantrum when someone disagrees, the better. You didn't give me a well reasoned counter argument, you just called me names. That's generally not how grownups handle conflict, so maybe work on that.

    Now, as far as whether or not I have morals. You jumped to the conclusion that I'm an immoral man hater because I don't like it when myself and my female friends and family are being talked about as if all we're objects made solely to please men.

    So.

    Not that it should matter, but I've slept with two men in my life, one of them being my current boyfriend of 5+ years. I work from home, and I clean and do the laundry and the groceries and I cook dinner every night and clean up afterwards and I have immense respect towards my boyfriend for the work he does and the fact that he supports me, and our relationship.

    I just don't like hearing myself and the women I'm close to referred to as filth, as something that you literally shit on. That's not dehumanizing? But me holding you accountable for the inflammatory things you said, that's dehumanizing, according to you. What exactly is the thought process here?
     
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  7. Alunny

    Alunny Member

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    You guys he may have compared the average woman to a public toilet because she has had sex, but he told me to see a sex therapist about my erection!

    *checks her pants for a penis* Nope, no surprises! Phew! :LOL::rolleyes:

    Ha ha anyone who says "the poster above me" and is replying 20 posts past the post they're replying to is obviously extremely self centred so their response didn't surprise me at all.



    Anyway....Dude your views are so freaking ancient I sincerely hope you are 90.

    Let's say I had sex with 10 STI free people, right now. If I use a condom they won't touch me so it's not like I would have "germs" on me for you to pick up. And if I don't use a condom I have this fucking AMAZING thing between my legs called a vagina and guess what?! IT'S SELF CLEANING. :love::D

    Now let's say I love sex, and I have sex with those same 10 STI free people every single day for the rest of my life. My vagina isn't going to shrink or grow or tighten or loosen or change in some other magical way either, unless I do kegels in between romps, then it will tighten.

    Not to mention when it comes to someone experienced verses not experienced I'd rather someone with a bit of experience because they wouldn't be so shy/awkward.

    I don't sit here thinking about how gross you and your dick are because you've been in so many women and rubbed yourself all over them, so why would you get offended if someone been with lots of people? As long as they're STI free and clean/healthy what the hell is the problem?

    So get over it LOL. It's all in your head. :ROFLMAO:
     
  8. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    #8 goodhealth, Jan 22, 2016
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    Yes TwoOneBee, I did. I tend to think that if a woman wants to have quality, she needs to be deserving of it. I prefer not to live in world of dumbed-down degenerates who think it's ok to shovel the consequences of their actions upon others and pretend that it doesn't exist. It's not a poor choice of words, it's a moral and biological right to expect something better that apparently the downward spiral of the current world comprising Europe and the Americas has forgotten. Apparently when people are less than animals, they seem to think that 50, 500, or 5,000 partners is a-ok, but then they wonder why they end up with diseases, empty, and suicidal or potheads that can't understand or fathom the importance and sanctity of living a clean lifestyle. C'est la vie, that's the state of the dumpster of a world we have now, but at least there's breadcrumbs as to the reason, right?

    I was not mentioning how a woman must please me or make me orgasm. You are mistaken, have me confused with someone or something else, or are not understanding what I wrote.

    I said that she must have a quality standard of morality and cleanliness that is comparable to what she seeks. That has nothing to do with "pleasing me sexually". She is precluded from even having the chance to do that if I find out she's been the neighborhood doorknob, TwoOneBee. Is that really hard to grasp? I don't like double-standards, but the only thing I like less than that is being forced to live with someone else's after they've done deplorable things and expect me to love them for it! Not on their life!

    I totally blame sunshiney for her hate-filled anti-male rhetoric, and sexist comments against me and any other men having the right to refuse women who are whores, who are impure, or are sexually or emotionally unfit for a relationship in any form. Maybe you should get with her since you seem to think what she said is ok, and that bashing males is just fine? It doesn't seem like you have any more morals to speak of than she does, so I find myself making the same assumptions about you at this point as the male version of what she is (just in case my initial post was misconstrued as being oriented as only toward women, you have proven that there is equal-opportunity degeneracy to be had in the slum of the world remaining. Thank you for proving my point of the original post!)

    I think her response to me was out of line, was very, very wrong, and that you are crazy to suggest otherwise when you condone immorality and degeneracy being imposed upon a future partner or other in someone's life who does not deserve that. In fact, you sir, are the lowest of the low to suggest or condone or support that just as she is, and I think YOU are very, very wrong to do so. But I also believe that you are not the slightest bit able to comprehend this due to the way you have come at me and the things you have already said here in her defense. Do you also have sympathy for the devil? You might as well. You're a great advocate for evil thus far.

    Being "called out" for decency by her stupidity and evil personified does not confront me none, son. It really doesn't. You don't seem to be able to differentiate between her bs and wholesale support for being a modern day prostitute from any actual information, but the inability to see and understand that is likely a substance abuse issue more than anything else. It seems to have a way of lowering morality and ideology at the same time to the state you are at in the response you made to me, and is indiscriminatory when doing so.

    All of the assumptions I made about your newfound forum-girlfriend are based on her response and her own information and the biological reality of things even in the absence of her and your or anyone else's understanding of them. I guess health and wellness are "very very wrong" to you, but you don't exactly strike me as someone who has a moral compass or a direction to speak of either. So I can take what you "suggest" with a grain of salt, or as a written skit that didn't make it to comedy central.

    You need to sober up a little and understand that I have disgust issues with where people have been and what they have done. I have no issues with my self-confidence, never have, and never will.

    Unlike some, I don't get high while writing posts TwoOneBee (you mentioned you did in another place, which is why I've mentioned that here). I have a standard for thought as well as deed. So there isn't too much value to me in what you have to say, and I really think you and Sunshiney should "hook up" or whatever it is you kids think is acceptable these days since you can together celebrate the emptiness and lack of morals and state of impurity you seem to think is ok in the way that suits you best.

    I never said I required every or any woman I might sleep with to be a virgin. I just don't want her to be with more people than she can count on one hand, with more people than she is years in age, and in direct competition with Jenna Jameson or Peter North. Is that too much to ask for? If it is, then you're ignorant, immature, self-destruactive, inadequate as a male, and the personification of what is wrong with the world. Go roll that for a while, and maybe if you grow up someday, you'll see the truth in what I was saying here and in my previous post. I don't expect you to, but anything is possible. :)

    No, I just stick to the truth, reality of things, and defend against the abominable. I'm sure that your void of morality causes you to think that is somehow magically flying off the handle, but that is just more revealing of your inability to know better than to be what I was speaking about in contempt, either directly or in support of it.

    Your ability to understand things beyond an IQ of 75 is not my responsibility sunshiney, it's yours. I was pretty calm when I wrote that to you, and still am. So your confusion and inability to read does not surprise me, but don't get it twisted when making a response to what you still don't understand.

    Only sleeping with virgins is a nice suggestion, but it's gone from being an improbability to an impossibility in today's world. The type of inappropriate behavior of women that you condone and endorse has made sure of that collectively between you and everyone like you who has empowered the problem to begin with both for the men initially, and the women themselves in finality.

    To say that defending decency is ignorant only makes you ignorant and evil on top of being degenerate. Your disrespect toward me and other decent men who do not deserve to have to settle for whores in the end was beyond disrespectful, as are any who support you doing it. If this is really what is left as the majority in society, then the world clearly has no hope. None. I am starting to understand why the elite want so desperately to depopulate you and why China has implemented their one child per family policy. It is people like you who made this a requirement for sustainability and any hope of an existence on this planet that isn't hell on Earth.

    Your friend being a public utility and still bucking karma and fate for the duration of time left on her human hourglass does not excuse her conduct the moment she has offspring and contributes to the issue of overpopulation in the world. Should I award her a medal for biological reproduction? That makes no sense. You try to appeal to society's appeal to reproducing so much and have had it drilled into you so much that you actually think that is a great thing and an accomplishment? Wow. Just wow.

    If your friend wants to be a public toilet, then she should find and only be with men that are the same way. She shouldn't try to take herself or her multiple offspring into a fantasy of "happily ever after" at some single and decent man without kids expense, and she certainly should not do that to any man who deserves better whether she had those kids or not. If she's submitted herself to more exotic places than the late Steve Irwin in the jungle, then the answer is no: she does not deserve to impose herself and steal the purity or decency from a man who hasn't! It is NOT RIGHT. Don't you understand this at all???

    I wasn't the one who made her sleep with more than 5 people. That was her decision. She belittled herself in life, and that was her "choice", but I shouldn't have to deal with it or pay the price for it. No man should. And now that she's made that decision, there has been consequences from her actions. She needs to keep those consequences to herself, or to only those who want or are equivalent in reduction to the level of those consequences. It's just that simple.

    If she wants to be everyone's go-to girl for that, then that's her deal. If you want to be that way, then that's yours. But don't bring that around me, and don't you dare to try package yourself as anything else to con me or any other decent man into a relationship after doing it. You made your choice, and you stick with it. If you don't you're nothing but a con artist and an evil person in the worst way possible to steal from others.

    The rest of the world is falling apart in case you haven't noticed, and you can bet the estate that it's because of your thinking collectively implemented on society. Ancient Greece, Rome, and Babylon fell because of your type of lifestyle and thinking. The errors just keep reproducing and recycling like automatons, and keep on defending their own demise. It isn't much of a world when that's all you leave in it, right?

    You do not seem capable of understanding moral dedication and support of what is right as opposed to "throwing a tantrum", which you would like to believe, but was never the case. I simply pointed out the blatantly disgusting things you support and the damage they have done, and where that damage will lead. You apparently did not like that because you're a man-hating feminist that supports degeneracy more than the wellness of the world, and you have the support of one or two other degenerates who want to destroy themselves and have no ability to understand why. I'm sure I'm casting my pearls to the swine at this point, but I just wanted you to know a few things that your feminist teachers and lifestyle will never show you until one day you wake up and realize the aftermath of either what you have supported...or what you have done...come to fruition.
     
  9. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    sunshineysunshiney

    The way you responded to me illustrated your hatred for men and for any decent man that would declare his own biological and moral rights. The question of whether you were a feminist and a man-hater was evident the moment I read your response to me, and you being with someone or not does not curtail the reality of that one bit.

    As for your double-standard of being an object, I never defined a woman's value to be subservient to my needs. I define her value only to be quality and purity with respect to nature and the well-being of mankind in the truest sense (whoever she may be with, whether it's with someone or no one at all), and that her availability not be sabotage to the naive or willing in her presence.

    It's unacceptable how a woman thinks it is ok for a man to be an object of her support, and a living ATM machine for her and children that are not even his many times...and yet she thinks that it is so horrible that he need a woman who hasn't been with everyone at a local truck stop?!

    Houston, we have a problem! The whores are trying to normalize immorality, and the insane are leading the asylum. And to top it off, we have those who claim they are not that way supporting them!

    Doesn't that make you a hypocrite to be one thing, but endorse another (if it's even true what you told me on your last paragraph) sunshiney? If it is true, then I hope you stick to that and that he is mutually there for you as you are for him. If you're doing the right thing, then more power to you on that. But don't go into a tirade and temper tantrum for the sake of your friend who wanted to share her loins with the world. There's just no excusing it or the consequences and places it leaves her. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine 20 minutes ago who was nearly entrapped by one of those vipers trying to get with him to support her kids with not one but two other men. He had me on the phone without her knowing it, and got angry at him when he told her he didn't want that. Her response? "How am I supposed to support my kids without someone like you to be there for me to do that? Where are all the good men at?" I wanted so much to tell her that all the good men are either lucky, have settled for less than they deserve in other ways, or they just have the common sense not to be entrapped by someone trying to extort them and disrespect their biological existence all in the same breath.

    So if you are decent, then that's great! Stay true to that. Sincerely, I mean that!

    If you are not...then that sucks, but if you do it...then keep that crap over there and with people that have placed themselves at the bottom of the barrel too and don't float to the top with that.

    The inflammatory lifestyle that dirty women impose upon cleaner men is worse than any inflammatory words misconstrued to mean what you want them to could ever be.

    I never thought I would see the day when this even had to be explained, let alone wasn't already understood?

    Perhaps this is yet another reason why so many men are needing viagra now. When a guy thinks about where a woman has been...what she has done...and how many she has done -shudders- ...you practically need divine intervention or some really powerful alternative to keep it where it would have been otherwise?
     
  10. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    #10 goodhealth, Jan 22, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
    Since when is addressing someone directly and not expecting 20 people to post after you being self-centered? Are you delusional?

    The thread did start to go off in a different direction due to a few anti-male comments by a feminist or femboy supporting them, and it would seem I have yet another to contend with here. I will reiterate for you that I am not responsible for what you understand, only for the attempt to give you knowledge and morality you either reject or are entirely void of which is out of my hands to correct if so.

    I'm glad you don't have a penis, either. If you were a male, I would feel bad for any woman having to settle for you. Please, tell me that is misogynist or something too to further showcase your ignorance on what I said and why.

    My "views"? I don't have "views", just an understanding of biological truth and decency. If something isn't broken, you shouldn't be trying to fix it or change it to where it is. Maybe you younger kids don't understand that, or your world is so corrupt that you can't. If you wondered why people don't stay together anymore and divorce and single mothers / single fathers are the new mainstay, it might behoove you to take a look at your morals and what you support before you go declaring other people understanding what you do not to be "ancient" or "archaic". You're like a person in debt financial advice, and you want me to invest in what you're saying? Right.

    I sincerely hope you do not reproduce.

    Guess what you don't understand, missy? That's right! Basic science! What a man leaves in your vagina (or in your mouth as you're clearly one of those by your confessions) sticks around for 7 days 100%, and other things much, much longer. If they intertwine with RNA and DNA, they last a lifetime and they even affect your reproductive system! How about that for "free amazing things" that are "self cleaning" between your legs without consequences you ignorant pit stop?

    Extending the Time to Collect DNA in Sexual Assault Cases | National Institute of Justice

    From the article:
    "We know that sperm cells are found in the female reproductive tract for seven days after ejaculation or longer. Researchers are testing a hypothesis that may extend the length of time in which DNA profiling is possible in sexual assault cases."

    And then, just in case you're too stupid to grasp what that means and want to swear at me again or hope that I am 90 years old to try and insult me, there is this:

    Grandma's Experiences Leave Epigenetic Mark on Your Genes | DiscoverMagazine.com

    So no, it is NOT "all in your head". If you still think it is, then you're the posterchild for Idiocracy.

    Your assumptions were false, and this validates that. By the way, just because men don't tell you that your vagina is now the equivalent of an air craft hangar rather than an appealing feature of your body doesn't mean that everything you perceive about it remains the same. If you had sex with 2 or 3 of the supposed 10 people you whore out with, your vag would stretch like a slinky.

    As for my penis, I don't let it dip into crap, so you will never know because not only would I sense that you're a whore, I would feel it and recognize it in your body language and ways you can't hide.

    Those things you think are so great about your approach and comfort with other like-minded animals of your caliber are suddenly not so great when you realize you've sold the estate to rent an apartment in the slum and have nowhere else to go due to what you've done and where you've been. Meditate on that for a while, clown girl. If the reality of your actions today aren't already affecting you, then the moment what is blocking it is no longer "all in your head", you'll definitely change your tune.
     
  11. sunshiney

    sunshiney Junior Researcher

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    I think that says it all right here, and illustrates my point well enough. This clearly isn't a topic we're going to agree on so I'm going to bite my tongue and bow out of this one.
     
  12. ElendilD

    ElendilD Member

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    I really don't like bashing somebody online, but this time, I will make and exception.@goodhealth. Dude, you just made some pretty nasty comments there.

    Firstly, you call women who had multiple sexual partners 'public utilities'. Really? In what age do you live in? Also, if you seriously think that, then you should also think that men who have had multiple partners are also the same? If you do, there is no mention of it in your posts, though. You even go as far as to say that you didn't like double standards, while saying, and I quote "I never said I required every or any woman I might sleep with to be a virgin." So you are keeping yourself open to having multiple partners. Irony much?

    Secondly, you repeatedly reference that the 'filthy' woman is she who has been to the "neighbour's doorknob" while dating/having a relationship with you. For your knowledge, this particular case is called infidelity, that is entirely different from having multiple sexual partners over the course of someone's life.

    Thirdly, you propose you have the 'moral high ground' for your position. It's ok. I get it. You think that you are morally superior and would never do what others do in their lives. So how about you move on and stop trying to impose your personal sense of values on other people and calling others names when they don't conform to your beliefs? That seems to be the moral thing to do, right?
     
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  13. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    Somehow, I don't believe you. And the fact that you're replying to a thread when I already said my peace and others said theirs, shows me that you intend to and are just like them.

    As stated, I live in the state of ageless and timeless morality which should not vary or deplete itself simply because society wills it to be so to suit their downward trend.

    To answer your question, yes I do. I think the same way of men doing that as I do women, because they are intentionally taking from the man who is meant to be in that woman's future exclusively, and it's horrific if he knows that and does it anyway. I don't believe it's right, no. It's worse for women than it is for men only because women retain the genetic material of what they've done and force it upon their future partners and unborn children. I think that is sick and repulsive to put it in the lightest of terms, and that it is a crime against the heart as well as the body. If this is not able to be understood, then I'm not sure what else to tell you at this point.

    You asked if there was an irony or selectivity on my standards: No. And you misunderstand to think that I would even allow myself to date or be with the woman who is the neighborhood doorknob. I would find out first where she's been, and if I cannot trust her, then I wouldn't even let it get to that point. Again, you are thinking I am like other people here. I am not.

    There isn't a double standard at all, and I will explain to you why. If I were with 2 people, then I would be honest about that with a woman I met, and if she is a virgin and is saving herself for someone who has been with less than 2 people, then guess what? I am no longer qualified to be with her, and I refuse to cause her harm if she needs that.

    Unlike 99% of this planet, I wouldn't lie about it or try to pretend I was a virgin to sleep with her like others do. If I were with 5 people and her limit was 3, then I would also be disqualified and if she said no, there's no reason to be bitter because she has only been with 3 people or less, and I have to respect that. So why is it impossible for women who sleep around so much to have a level-head, understand this, and respect it in a man and not inflict her damage upon him when the same is expected of them and the roles are reversed?

    You mentioned that I repeated the word filthy when describing the woman who has been the neighborhood doorknob. What do you call a pan or a dish that has repeated use and is never washed or cleansed of it, constantly building up bacteria, residue, and other junk that shouldn't be there even if they think they're somehow exempt from the laws of nature and biology? You would call it a filthy pan or dish, wouldn't you? Well, I would call her a filthy woman if she does the same and is just like that pan or dish.

    For your knowledge, infidelity if also called fornication since many of them are married on top of being deceitful. I prefer to reference them to being like the pan or dish though, since the accumulative factor places things more into perspective than to simply declare a state of infidelity or unfaithfulness to others, be it in a relationship, biological, emotionally, or any other form.

    Moral cleanliness, like trust, is something earned and not given unless earned. It's not something you can earn after the fact, so the sacrifice of a cheaper and lesser gratitude is made for the lasting value of being something more and remaining so in a world of those who would make you trade it away for nothing to appease them and bring you down to where they are. Everyone starts at the same level, but it does not mean they will stay there. That is based upon what they do, and their own choices to maintain value or to devalue themselves. I cannot choose your choices for you, I can only hold a quality standard and refuse to accept where you have been, what you have done, or what you have become as the result of your choices and there is nothing wrong with that at all. If more people did that, this world would not be so bad off as it has become and is now in that way.

    So how about you move on and stop trying to convince others that morality and decency is not worth their while as you play the devil's advocate here?
     
  14. ElendilD

    ElendilD Member

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    You're right. At some point, even the Devil's advocate has had too much. So with your last post, I literally 'rest my case.' and move on to doing something productive instead of participating in a pointless 'debate' with stupid strawmen and nonsensical ad hominems strewn all over the field. And seriously hope we don't cross paths again. Peace! :sleep:
     
  15. goodhealth

    goodhealth Member

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    That's fine, ElenilD. You may have invited the stress upon yourself with your approach in response. There's nothing nonsensical or unintelligible about what we were discussing, but I wish you peace in whatever it is you're looking for. If we cross paths again, it'll likely be by your choice just as your response was. :) Peace out.
     
  16. 111kg

    111kg Junior Researcher

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    It really depends, honestly. I'd really ask more. If the other person refuses to give too many details, it means she really does have something to hide, reason why I would never go in a relationship with her.

    But what do you mean by multiple? From what point it becomes ...too much?
     
  17. pennyheart

    pennyheart Junior Researcher

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    This thread reminded me of the movie, "What's your number?"

    Anyway, back to the topic, if a potential partner has had multiple partners before me, I'd just ask him to have some test for STD. If he turns out to be negative from it, then we can discuss his history. For me, I'd rather delve into what made him engage into so many sexual relationships (assuming it's like more than 10). I don't want to get into a relationship and be seen as just a number. Because that's one of the major fears of people who are committed in a relationship.

    I'd want to know if he has some issues. Whether these relationships are just casual, or were there serious ones? Also if these encounters occurred at the overlap of another or not. I think I'd be more interested to know just what made him want to engage in that many relationships since it's not something that I can certainly deal with.

    I don't think the multiple partners would be the turnoff, it's the reason behind it. If he did have multiple partners because he cannot be satisfied with one, then I wouldn't be so thrilled to be in a relationship with him at all. Unless of course he proves to me that he can stay intimate with only one person for a long period of time and only that person.
     
  18. rz3300

    rz3300 Junior Researcher

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    I would have to say that it would be a pretty big turn off. You do not want to have the opposite though, either, where your partner has avoided contact with others at all, so I guess you really have to put things into perspective. There is more of a risk, just by nature, though, and so you have to factor that in. I guess nothing really matters if you are right for one another, though, so hopefully it does not get to that point.
     
  19. thash1979

    thash1979 Member

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    My husband had many partners before we met. The exact number, I have no clue. I didn't really want to know. That was before we met when he was in his teens and early 20s. I had 4 before I met him. He didn't seemed bother by that number. He has a very high sex drive but that doesn't mean he is requesting to bring anyone else into the marriage to supplement his desire. I think that if it was over a hundred previous partners I wouldn't have even dated him!
     
  20. xTinx

    xTinx Member

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    It depends. Such a question needs to be clarified and thoroughly justified. Follow-up questions may be in order such as the last time your person of interest slept with someone prior to starting a relationship with you and how frequently he slept around prior to being with you. This gives you enough background as far as sexual health is concerned. You might end up with some unknown disease if you do not probe and leave things as they are.

    Acceptance is a good thing but honesty is just as important. Given the nature of most sexual diseases in this day and age, you can never be too careful.
     
  21. Corzhens

    Corzhens Member

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    I was born and raised in a conservative society but it doesn't mean that my eyes are closed to reality. Besides, there is such a thing as reformation. As I said to my husband when he was courting me, the past is past and we do not dwell on it but the present should be on a different plane. In other words, if he is not faithful to me then that would be a problem.

    I have several friends whose partners have children with other partners before and I see their relationship working out fine. And like me, what matters to them is the present and not the past.
     
  22. MRSP

    MRSP Junior Researcher

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    If one truly loves a person, then the number of partners that he or she had in the past won't really matter. At least for me, it won't. What matters is now. But of course, both should be transparent and honest enough to tell the other if there's something that's needed to be discussed, like sexually transmitted diseases.
     
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