For some of us, sex on our period is something we've always thought of as taboo. Thoughts of an icky, sticky mess and our boyfriends horror stricken face are the images that run through our minds. Or maybe your mother gave you the idea that nice girls don't have sex on their period.
My mother told me the only time I would ever want and enjoy sex would be the one time of the month that I could conceive so sex during my period wouldn't be something I would want anyway. Well she was wrong, and if your like the millions of women before you who are tired of shutting down for up to a week, you'll be happy to know that sex during your menstrual cycle is healthy and normal, lots of people do it.
But, Isn't it gross?
That depends on your definition of gross. For those of you going yuck and all other manners of disgusted slang , stop and think about just what it is that you are so grossed out about. You are basically being grossed out by a natural bodily function that is part of what makes you female and capable of bearing children. And while it is different from the blood in your veins, it is still made up of red blood cells and tissue that are a part of you and part of a natural and healthy function of your body.
As for odors, and I know that question--- what about the smell?----is coming, if you change your pad or tampon frequently,and keep up with regular bathing, odor shouldn't be a problem. If you are still getting a strong and unpleasant smell, I would recommend seeing a doctor.
What about the guy, won't he mind?
Again, that depends, but probably no. Now most girls and women think that men are totally disgusted by the thought of a woman's period and would never in a million years dream of having sex with a menstruating woman. Wrong!!!! While they won't go to the grocery store and by your pads and tampons, most men will have sex with you while you are having your period. (And they think women are weird) Men, for the most part, are less squeamish about it than we are, ladies.
And aside from it being a little messy, what is so very wrong with it? Nothing, so long as you and your partner are OK with it. There are even some positives to having sex during that mysterious time of month that we ladies have been using to get out of all sorts of things (like gym class). So without any more chatter, here's the informed woman's guide to sex on her period.
Talk to your partner
The last thing you want to do if you and your partner have never had sex during your period before, is to tell them only when they notice that the nice wet feeling they've been thinking is a tribute to their sexual prowess, is making a big red mess of your new white sheets, not to mention their dicks.
Talking about it is the only way your going to find out if your guy is one of the few who has a hang up about it. You will find that most men really don't care near as much as you might think. They're usually more concerned that they're locked out of that nice warm hole for up to a week so when they find out that there is a way in, dealing with something they can wash off after, usually isn't a problem. And talking about it gives you an opportunity to discuss what is and isn't OK during period sex.
For myself, I know I don't want to be touched or poked at much down there when I've got my period. If this is your first time doing this with a new partner, you want to prepare them for what they may encounter, as you may pass clots or old blood which tends to be darker or even brownish in color. If either of you is on the squeamish side, you can always try to time it for your lighter days when the worst is already over and blood flow is slowed down to a trickle.
On the flip side, some couples are quite OK with it once they know they are both on board, and it may not bother them in the least. I've known men who will even give oral (to an extent) during a woman's cycle and besides there are always ways to impede the flow, I will be discussing those in the next segment of the article. Once you both have aired your concerns and made ground rules for foreplay and penetration, you are ready for the next step.
To bleed or not to...
For some, the idea of bleeding freely just isn't an option. For those folks there are ways to damn the flood so to speak. The female condom can be used, it acts as an inner liner, or some women find their diaphragm does the trick. I wouldn't, however, go and have a diaphragm fitted just for this purpose, there are other methods that are similar and don't require a doctor's visit. If you use a diaphragm for birth control already, then fine, otherwise try some of these other suggestions that work just as well if not better.
One of the other choices that works well are menstrual cups. These are sold in two types, the standard menstrual cup (not recommended if you don't want any mess as they are not designed for intercourse) or the soft cup which is designed for just that. These will stop up the flow well enough that your partner can even "go down" on the situation if he so desires.
Be aware that they are a bit messy when you remove them (I know this from personal experience) and if you are using them for intercourse, be sure to put one in as close to right before sex as possible because I've found that they don't hold up for long periods of time.
Then there is the contraceptive sponge. It, like the diaphragm or menstrual cup, acts as a barrier between him and your period. Again, if using this to hold back flow, insert it as close as possible to the time you are going to have sex. I have found that sea sponge works just as well and is quite inexpensive.
Women have been using it for their periods for quite some time though if didn't hear about it from a friend its likely you aren't aware of it. Sea sponge can be bought at health food stores and is easy to use. You simply cut a piece in a suitable size and insert it like a tampon.
But unlike a tampon which takes up the entire space, sea sponge just covers the cervical opening. Like the contraceptive sponge, it absorbs the flow preventing it from getting on your sheets and partner too, and like the contraceptive sponge, should be inserted as close to actually having sex as possible for the best results.
Now that we've talked about ways to stem the tide, what about people who don't mind and choose to go with the flow? Simple. Get an old towel or any absorbent material, and lay it down on the surface you are planning (or hoping) to have sex on. When you are done, voila, remove it and let it soak in cold water to reduce staining.
If you are concerned about blood running down your thighs and elsewhere, the missionary position is the best for keeping the damage at a minimum, and if the sight of blood bothers you, you can always cover yourself with a blanket or sheet and keep the lights off.
Some people suggest having sex in the shower. This is one way to wash the evidence off as you go, but I personally find watching globs of red goop going down the drain rather perturbing and a bit of a turn off. Still to each there own.
The benefits of period sex
There are some benefits to having sex during your period. One is that it tends to shorten your period, sometimes by as much as a day as the force of orgasm pushes the blood and tissue out faster, Another, and my favorite, is the built up blood creates a fullness that induces orgasm and causes some women to feel more sexual at this time of month
That is also due in part to the increased hormone levels during this phase of your cycle. A few women say it is because the likelihood of pregnancy is less, but remember, no time of month is one hundred per cent safe so unless you are taking oral birth control, use precautions.
Another bonus is that good sex will help with period cramps as the contractions of orgasm act like a massage for your pelvic region and orgasm also releases endorphins which are natural painkillers as well as mood enhancers.
Finally, your periods hindrance to foreplay needn't be a downer. Many women find they do not need as much prior stimulation as the extra blood surging through your pelvic region puts you in a semi state of arousal from the outset and you can also use the fact that you are not as accessible to make things special for your guy by giving him head without expecting reciprocal pleasure. This is sure to make your man look forward to you getting your period.
Can I have unprotected sex during periods?
As I said earlier, unprotected sex during your period is not safe. No time of the month is safe, so don't think just because you have your period that you can skip the birth control. And not only that, the risk of STD's goes up when you are on your period, for you as well as him. The cervix is opened slightly more than any other time of month to allow the blood to pass and this makes for easier access by bacteria and STD's.
As for the man, when a woman is bleeding is the most dangerous time to contract blood born STD's so always use a condom and avoid oral sex if you don't know your partners history as well as you'd like to. Some go as far as to say if a woman is bleeding and you don't know her that well, don't have sex at all til she's over it. Its up to you, just know that that the danger is there and stay safe.
One last tip for the ladies. I have found that if my partner and I are going to have sex during that time of month that having a bath just prior and getting everything clean inside and out helps minimize mess a great deal. Unless your flow is extremely heavy, if the passage way has been cleared, it shouldn't fill up again for a good half hour or more.
Sex without Vaginal intercourse?
Some women may just want to have intimacy and foreplay without the actual intercourse. And that can be pretty fun too. Infact, it could turn out to be a very interesting twist to the sex routine. All foreplay, lots of sexual tension and love - that can be pretty good you know...
And, you can even satisfy your man with a blow job if you wish. Oh, and dont forget anal if thats your thing. That has nothing to do with your period and can be pretty pleasurable, but again, that's not for all.
Some just don't want to...
There is absolutely nothing wrong with healthy sex during a woman's period. It is completely normal and lots and lots of people do it. If, however, its just not for you for whatever reason, don't let your spouse pressure you into it and that goes for men as well as women.
No one should ever be made to do something sexual that they are uncomfortable with. Sometimes you just feel achy and crabby during that time of month. You feel bloated and not in the least bit sexual. I know it can be hard to feel sexy when your retaining water and you have cramps.
If its not for you, it just isn't. There are no hard and fast rules that say when you can and when you can't have sex. It is up to you, its your body and you know best when if feels right. So play safe and play often ,and above all, have fun.